I Am My Own Best Friend

Adult Children of Alcoholics tend to cater to needs of others rather themselves.  It began in childhood when we always had to care for our alcoholic parent.  For me it was my father who was the alcoholic.  I worried about him when he was drunk. Would he heat up food on the stove then pass out at the kitchen table leaving the food to burn - even worst burn down the house.  Things like this were real concerns for me and caused me great anxiety.

I’m ready to focus on myself - do special things just for me.  Giving to others and withholding from myself doesn’t work for me anymore. Today I affirm that I will encourage, support and congratulate myself.  Put myself first for a change and be my own best cheerleader.  

Unlearning the old habits from my past will require real effort on my part but I’m up for the task. 

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.

#ACoAAwareness

#Innerlook

Discovering my true self

According to Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist, the most abstract human need is self-actualization.  Maslow defined self-actualization as fully developing and using our unique “talents, capacities, and potentialities.”  To achieve this, we need to refine the talents that we have already developed to some degree, while we also cultivate new potentials in ourselves. 

It took me a very long time before I began to enter into self-actualization.  Growing up in a dysfunction home with an alcoholic father and ACOA mother stunted my emotional growth.  I was always tended to the needs of my parents and others – never putting myself and my needs first. 

Thankfully, through knowledge and understanding about what it means to be an ACOA I am finally on my way to discovering who I was always meant to be.

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m a recovering adult child of an alcoholic.

#ACoAAwareness

#InterpersonalCommunication

Choosing My Attitude

My work environment is extremely tense.  There are few people employed to do all the work that is required.  My co-worker came to me upset about some things and I just took it all in stride.  She wanted to know why I was so calm.  I simply realized that I can only do so much, and if I know I’m doing the very best that I can that’s all that matters.

As an ACOA, I’m prone to become anxious or depressed when things get out of control.  But I’ve learned that I have the power to choose my own attitude no matter what the circumstances.  My ability to choose the attitude I will take puts something into my hand that can change the way I experience my own life.

Today, I experience a rare serenity: the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.  And I remember the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.

#ACoAAwareness

Understanding the past to change the future

As an ACOA, denial has been a major part of my life.  I have always been uncomfortable with change and made concerted efforts to leave the past in the past.


Unfortunately, these methods have not served me well over the years.  Because I didn’t recognize or admit that my father’s alcoholism had any effect on me, I fell into the common trap of seeking a partner just like my father.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different outcome.  When I look back on my ‘insanity’ years, I shudder. 


However, there is no sense beating myself up over my past mistakes.  The past cannot be changed.  However, the past must be studied and understood so that the same poor choices are not repeated.  So now instead of trying to put the past behind me I learn from it so I can change my future.


Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins, and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.

With God's Help I can Overcome

After years of denial, I finally came to terms with the fact that my father was indeed an alcoholic.  This means he had an addiction, another term that I never before acknowledged applied to him until recently. 

I have also learned that consuming alcohol is not the only substance that one can be addicted to.  I now acknowledge that I too have an addiction.  I am addicted to sugary and salty snacks.  As we enter the season of Lent I decided to give up candy and chips, two of my favorite things.  It’s only been a day and I’m already struggling.

I am thankful to have my spirituality as a helpful component in dealing with my addiction.  And with God’s help I can overcome it.

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.

#ACoAAwareness

Breathing out the anxiety

One problem that adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) have is that we fear failure, but sabotage our successes.  It’s such a contradiction but I find that it’s true in my case.  Someone recently told me that I was a complicated and fascinating person.  Although the word ‘fascinating’ sounded flattering, I questioned it.  What’s so fascinating about me?  I thought.

Instead of taking the observation as a compliment I focused on the word ‘complicated’ and it made me feel anxious.  Because ACOAs struggle with what is normal, the statement sent me into a tailspin about about my ongoing quest for perfection.  I know, trying to be perfect is ridiculous but it’s just one of those annoying ACOA traits.

I’m learning to let myself feel good and work toward increasing good in my life.  My state of mind and mood are my responsibility.  I can breathe out the negative and anxiety that are in me and breathe in peace and serenity.  I’m learning to give myself a break and taking one day at a time.

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m a recovering Adult Child of an Alcoholic.

#ACoAAwareness

www.innerlook.com

I Have Faith

I am relying on my faith to sustain me and guide me.  Faith is my constant companion.  It leads me through passages of terrifying darkness and blinding light.  Growing up as a child of an alcoholic and then an adult child of an alcoholic, I let my vices be my friends.  But they were not true, they let me down.

I’m learning to lean on Jesus or should I say, I’m remembering to lean on him.  I’d forgotten somewhere along the way.  Now I let my faith lead me and it allows me to walk on a well-lit path, to strike out on my own and cut my way through the underbrush.

On this long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions and it is the greatest property.  I pray I never forget it again.

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins, and I’m a recovering adult child of an alcoholic.

#ACoAAwareness