Guilt and Depression

When you ask people what are the signs of depression you usually get responses such as lackluster, despair, hopelessness or loneliness.  This too would be my response if asked to describe depression.  So I confidently declare that I am not, nor have I ever been depressed.  However, ACOA is showing me something different.  I may have to change my opinion.  I read an article on WebMD about guilt and depression and it struck a chord with me.

 

My mother is 84 years old and I thank God for her; but sometimes she drives me crazy.  She can get an unreasonable notion in her head and no one can change her opinion.  She can also be downright ornery in public at times, which is just not cool to me.  I feel guilty about writing this and even thinking it.  ACOA has shown me that I have an obsessive-compulsive trait and as such, I am prone to excessive deliberating about my own actions; driving up my guilt quotient.  The article reminded me that women build self-esteem through relationships.  And as women we have to make sure no one thinks we are being selfish.  That truth just smacked me across the face.  Now I understand that guilt is an underlying cause of my stress. 

 

The article warned that guilt also takes a toll on an already fragile mental state, and contributes greatly to depression and anxiety.  I believe these feelings have been building up in me since childhood.  It’s going to take some time to unravel all the suffocating.  But it can be done.  I’m just taking it one day at a time.

 

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.