Runaway Child

I tend to be a runner; in the metaphorical sense.  If in the literal sense, I would be a lot slimmer.  But seriously…I notice as soon as I become uncomfortable, nervous, or if something is not going perfectly, I get the urge to be someplace else, be it mentally or physically.

I know this is the ACOA in me.  I recognize it, but can’t always stop it or control it.  I was recently inducted into my university’s chapter of the National Communication Association Honor Society.  I was assigned to read about 230 words at the induction ceremony; more words than any of the other seven inductees.

I remember using my entertainment center as a make shift podium to practice my reading portion out loud.  Every time I messed up, I turned and left the room.  I practiced my section over and over throughout the day.  When I practiced in my bedroom seated at my computer and fumbled my lines, I would get up, go to the front door and look out. 

So I made another discovery about myself.  I already knew about my compulsive behavior to eat when I’m stressed.  Now I recognized my urge to escape when I’m feeling uncomfortable or unsure of myself; I literally try to walk or run away.  The knowledge is power but the ability to change is the challenge.  I’m still a work in progress.

Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins, and I’m an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.