Dead Man Walking

As I pen my memoir, I have been interviewing my family member for more insight into my father's character.  My mother, in her commentary, described my father as a dead man walking.  She didn’t elaborate further but later I surmised that my father was in a perpetual state of never-changing.  He often said that people basically don’t change.  I wonder if on some unconscious or subconscious lever he was referring to himself.

From the time of his birth outside of wedlock in the 1910s he was blatantly ignored by his paternal side of the family.  In fact, he did not even know his neighbors were actually family.  Because he was abandoned and ostracized by his paternal family, he grew up making choices that destroyed his family emotionally, including substance abuse.  He sought solace in the bottle and remained in that perpetual state, hiding himself from the world and self-medicating to relieve his pain, his entire life.

Thank God I am breaking the cycle; one day at a time.  Hi, I’m Liz Hawkins and I’m an Adult Child of an Alcoholic.